Friday, January 23, 2009

One night in the Labour Ward

Since this is my first post on this blog since New Years - hope you guys enjoyed yours . I really do not want to copy Chetan Bhagat's title because frankly speaking I really don't like his work - too substandard as far as literature and good reading goes - but the title seemed appropriate for the story . I realised that the last few blogs have had a serious undertone to it , and all our escapades have gone unpublished , so I realised one humorous tale was in order ......
Final year of Medicine has ' finally '  begun - and its hell . To top up the surprise internal medicine exam  which we have to give  next week - for 100 marks , since my batch is currently posted in Gynaecology and Obstetrics - we had to do a compulsory night shift at the Navi Mumbai municipal hospital . My chance was on last Tuesday .
Since Nerul and Borivali are unimaginable distance apart - I couldn't possible go home at 12.30 pm and come all the way back for the 6 pm to 6 am shift . So I did whatever any girl would have done at that point - I went there early - I could just sit in the interns room and read , or finish my hours till 9.30 pm and leave , right ? WRONG .
The Intern posted there was on a 5 day holiday as her mother had a backache [ so sweet of her na ? ] One resident had diarrhoea - which lasted only a day - Tuesday . So the entire ward with 25 pregnant women was managed by One resident AND  me from 1.30 pm to 7 pm !!!!!! 
The good - for - nothing boys who were going to complete the shift with me , and who were supposed to come at 5 , turned up in batches - 2 at 7 pm , 2 at 8.30 and another at 9.30 .
So obviously by that time both of us girls were thoroughly worn out . 
The Incident happened at 10.30 pm , by which time I was a pro at finding out the foetal position and monitoring foetal heart sounds , my mind was also beginning to be a little fuzzy about which patient needed monitoring of what vitals ......
One of the [ good for nothing ] guys had smartly written FHS in front of bed no 13 on a new card , so me and another student after going through the  other beds on our rounds just went over ,  applied the  liquid paraffin and used the doppler for listening to the heart sounds - except this time we weren't getting any . Also she wasn't looking 9 months along though her abdomen was swollen , but sometimes that happens in thin girls . Little worried - I asked her relative how far along she was - the lady replied - 8 months over , 9 th going on . We tried again and as we couldn't get it , and as we really didn't want it to be this night when such a complication happened , I hurried over to the resident and told her what was happening .

Two minutes later I was back in the ward shamelessly shrieking with laughter - and wide awake - explaining to the poor guy trying to find foetal heart sounds in the mother's womb , that the lady had already delivered  naturally , her baby was in another ward , and we were supposed to check her Blood pressure instead !!!
Her relative had totally forgotten to let us know that even though the mother had finished 8 months of pregnancy , she had delivered her baby early so there was no question of the 9th month existing !!! I checked the old papers to see that earlier I had checked her B.P. 
Horror of horrors !! But how we all enjoyed the joke ! Though we celebrated after delivering a baby girl of a first time mother at 11.26 pm - that is - I enjoyed it by making the guys go off to work for coming late , while I slept it all off ! :D