I missed you !! xxx

 Thanks to Twitter I've been neglecting my blog and I realise thas I'm not being fair !! anyway when inspiration strikes - i shall make it a point to write  till then check out my tweets on www.twitter.com/aarteepotnis 

Did I mention I'm learning Jive , Salsa and Waltz ?! I learnt ' Th Drop ' in Salsa ! whoo Hoo ! its so exhilarating !! 

xxx

The Sinking of The Titanic

[ written in Nmmc hospital when a professor we've been trying to evade caught us and insisted that we hear his lecture .... of course he's famous for doing that and we are famous for running away from him . Concerned students know who I am talking about , and will agree that this was a better use of my time :P and since I still have to pass this year - I'm not saying the name - even on my blog ... maybe next year :P ]

The Sinking of The Titanic

An evening on the deck ,

The sun has set ,

and the rays have

stopped shimmering on

the ripples and the waves , 

I stand next to my beloved , 

His arms are around me

and we plan our lives together ,

after coming back home 

from the New World 

Lovers promenade across the deck ,

Excited children yell across ,

A blue eyed , blond , bonny lass

runs past us ,

Her sash almost getting caught in my purse ,

shrieking with laughter she is ,

Her brother runs after her ,

waving his cap as he 

canters across the deck ,

The moonlight starts shining 

on his copper curls 

The clinking of champagne glasses

is heard ,

Violins are being played ,

What sweet melodies and memories

are being drawn from its strings

Laughter and chatter is heard in the air

Old men and women are seated 

in the deck chairs ,

In all their English finery ,

Marvelling at the wonder 

which is ,

' The Unsinkable ' , it is 

' The Titanic '

My husband is whispering ,

"How about a dance now , dearest ?"

A shy glance at him ,

a look in his blue eyes ,

And I get ready for the ball

A cold dry wind , is blowing across

the icy Atlantic ,

ruffling up my soft brown curls ,

I smile , He laughs ,

his eyes crinkle up

Soft , fast music can be heard ,

from the lower decks ,

and gentle laughter and voices

filled with fun , drifts up to ours

"A waltz " , I think

" The privilege of the poor

to do everything fun and jolly

without inhibitions ,

with a right "

He lifts his arm

white and fair , with the

artistic grace required of a surgeon , 

to brush my hair out of my eyes , 

and then

A sudden sharp shrieking sound ,

grating across our ears , 

The ship rocks a bit , 

I lose my balance

and the same arm catches me

A puzzled silence , 

The world seems to stand still then

Even the wind has stopped swishing

A murmur of voices start

drifting across the deck , 

Like words that run off the page 

A feeling of dread fills me up , 

"This is not right " , 

and a sudden horrible thought

of it all ending badly 

engulfs me ,

"Its going to be fine 

this is the unsinkable ship "

I reassure myself 

And then , the winds of time

have changed ,

frantic cries of horror are heard ,

"Why does he look so worried ?

surely he knows its going to be fine ....?"

I am frantic , and rooted to the spot

He's pulling my arm ,

shouting to get to 

the other end of the ship

Time flies ,

One hour becomes two

and two become three ,

and Titanic is sinking ........

The lights go out ,

more screaming ,

People are falling 

in the icy coffin

of the Atlantic ,

and I know not whether 

They are dead or alive 

And a new fear begins to engulf me ,

I can't talk about it ,

think about it ,

He's shouting, " I'll love you 

forever , my darling ,

you know that ! "

I find myself repeating the same words , 

Hugging and kissing and moving ,

towards the lifeboats

And the we reach

and I finally wake up ,

enough to give my husband ,

a proper good - bye 

No words are needed ,

We hold each other long and hard

Then - then I am seated , 

in the 'Survivor's throne'

and it is lowered , 

Soft mournful music

floats over us , 

and I look up at his face , 

He is on the deck , 

The flares light up above him

For a moment there is hope ,

I feel , maybe he shall be saved , 

but I know that it is

not meant to be ,

He's a man , and I am a woman ,

and a woman always lives

and gives ,

His life is what she always gives

I know not , what will happen to him ,

Our boat touches the water ,

I can see him , no more ,

"What will he be ?" , I wonder

A survivor , a man stranded at sea , or ..."

something too dreadful - I shiver ,

and it is not the wind that makes it so ,

Then I notice my gloves are wet ,

They are my tears ........

"Who have you left behind my lass ?" 

asks an elderly woman next to me ,

"My husband ", I say , dazed and lost 

"How long ?", asks she

" Four days - we were newlyweds ", I say

and my lifeboat glides across the sea ,

into the ethereal eternity .

One night in the Labour Ward

Since this is my first post on this blog since New Years - hope you guys enjoyed yours . I really do not want to copy Chetan Bhagat's title because frankly speaking I really don't like his work - too substandard as far as literature and good reading goes - but the title seemed appropriate for the story . I realised that the last few blogs have had a serious undertone to it , and all our escapades have gone unpublished , so I realised one humorous tale was in order ......

 

Final year of Medicine has ' finally '  begun - and its hell . To top up the surprise internal medicine exam  which we have to give  next week - for 100 marks , since my batch is currently posted in Gynaecology and Obstetrics - we had to do a compulsory night shift at the Navi Mumbai municipal hospital . My chance was on last Tuesday .

Since Nerul and Borivali are unimaginable distance apart - I couldn't possible go home at 12.30 pm and come all the way back for the 6 pm to 6 am shift . So I did whatever any girl would have done at that point - I went there early - I could just sit in the interns room and read , or finish my hours till 9.30 pm and leave , right ? WRONG .

The Intern posted there was on a 5 day holiday as her mother had a backache [ so sweet of her na ? ] One resident had diarrhoea - which lasted only a day - Tuesday . So the entire ward with 25 pregnant women was managed by One resident AND  me from 1.30 pm to 7 pm !!!!!! 

The good - for - nothing boys who were going to complete the shift with me , and who were supposed to come at 5 , turned up in batches - 2 at 7 pm , 2 at 8.30 and another at 9.30 .

So obviously by that time both of us girls were thoroughly worn out . 

The Incident happened at 10.30 pm , by which time I was a pro at finding out the foetal position and monitoring foetal heart sounds , my mind was also beginning to be a little fuzzy about which patient needed monitoring of what vitals ......

One of the [ good for nothing ] guys had smartly written FHS in front of bed no 13 on a new card , so me and another student after going through the  other beds on our rounds just went over ,  applied the  liquid paraffin and used the doppler for listening to the heart sounds - except this time we weren't getting any . Also she wasn't looking 9 months along though her abdomen was swollen , but sometimes that happens in thin girls . Little worried - I asked her relative how far along she was - the lady replied - 8 months over , 9 th going on . We tried again and as we couldn't get it , and as we really didn't want it to be this night when such a complication happened , I hurried over to the resident and told her what was happening .

Two minutes later I was back in the ward shamelessly shrieking with laughter - and wide awake - explaining to the poor guy trying to find foetal heart sounds in the mother's womb , that the lady had already delivered  naturally , her baby was in another ward , and we were supposed to check her Blood pressure instead !!!

Her relative had totally forgotten to let us know that even though the mother had finished 8 months of pregnancy , she had delivered her baby early so there was no question of the 9th month existing !!! I checked the old papers to see that earlier I had checked her B.P. 

Horror of horrors !! But how we all enjoyed the joke ! Though we celebrated after delivering a baby girl of a first time mother at 11.26 pm - that is - I enjoyed it by making the guys go off to work for coming late , while I slept it all off ! :D

The Dance Of Fire

26th November - Nobody's going to forget it ... We shouldn't really - its necessary to remember this , and as the dance of fire continued for three days literally , it made sure it burnt in our hearts as well .......
I'm away on 'vacation' , and I won't be back home till tomorrow , but I got this feeling that even if I don't have the time to write what I really feel about it - a post must go up in my name -somewhere - let my voice be heard as soon as possible .......
So this is a memorial - a small post for all those innocent brave people who have given us our lives back from those henious demons who were clutching them in their fists all that time ....
We are proud of you - you good people , and we thank you for our lives , and we will make sure that we never forget , and we will make sure a change will come - a change that will finish all the evil in this world, and so that as Walter Blythe said , in 'Rilla of Ingleside' - by Lucy Maud Montegomery - The World will laugh again , and the Line will always Hold ......

Daddy's Little Girl

There's a kid in you - always ..... that tiny part of your soul which you turn too - when you are feeling down , or hurt or scared , or when the stresses of adulthood get to you ... that part of you that makes you crawl under the sheets between mum and dad and snuggle up - just like you did at 6 yrs - except now you're 21 .... and at that point - that wonderful blissful feeling , that everything is going to be alright ...........

And at that point - all you childhood returns to you

Your dad flinging you up in the air - and you're sqealing - " higher baba - even higher !!!! "

Walking along the road next to your walker - insisting to your mum that you are ' grown up ' and ofcourse you don't need that navy blue walker printed with teddy bears anymore , only to realise that after 10 feet - you are rrreeaaallllyyy tired - ofcourse you were just 2 , so you crawl back in , buckle yourself up and let the world carry you around like a little princess :)

You trying to measure your height in the corridor of your house by lying on the floor , along the breadth of the path - only to realise that you've grown up - and stuck between two walls . If any kiddos are reading this - please dont try - its freaky . Let mommy or daddy measure you with a measuring tape instead .....

Skating on the floor of your house , by pouring water over the floor - I think almost every kid in the world knows this :)

Seeing a freshly painted white wall 10 by 10 feet - thinking its your very own drawing pad which daddy dearest made for you , so you and you sister - who happens to be a good 5 yrs elder to you [ she was 10 yrs old then ] spend 1/2 an hr with crayons - drawing the typical , triangular mountain ranges , 2 lines showing a river , a half sun between the 2 triangles and a house in the corner and the curvey V shaped crows ..... My parents didnt punish me then - that was the only time - they were too gobsmacked



Then you fastforward to junior college , where after a dentist appointment when you fainted due to too much anaesthetic - mommie just came , let you sleep with your head on her lap and drove you home ....



Then medical school - when the day before my very first university paper - I can shamelessly admit that I slept right between mom and dad - crawling in sometime during the night with my blanket and pillow - and it felt soooo good . I didnt tell this to my friends then because I found it embarassing , only to know later that they had done the same thing too - really !!!!



I hardly remember my dad being around a lot because when I was small - as a paediatrician - his life was pretty much nonexistent , so I remember seeing him in my grandparents room , sitting on the floor near my grandmom - and her massaging his hair with oil ... and I remember his face - He was feeling like a kid at that time too .... even though god knows how many lives he had saved that day , and preparing himself for more ...



So basically anytime you feel down and out , and the noise of the city actually seems to be getting to you for some weird reason , when you are too frustrated to walk to anywhere , and you are stressed , and you hate your boss for that pile of work , even though you know you want to work too , and the world just seems " Blah ! " just go to mom or dad , and rest you head on the pillow , and pamper yourself , and for get for those 15 - 20 minutes about how old you really are , and what you want to do but can't and all that stuff that gets to you and

Be A Kid Again - because its still there - Always ......



P.S. - Maybe one day , my son will record a hologramic blog titled " Mommy's Boy " and keep it away in some secret corner of his 1 mm diameter computer , or maybe he'll show it off to the world , when he's under stress like when he has exams coming up , like how I'm doing now - because I have third year mbbs univ exams in two weeks ...:)
But I know that , even at 40 when I am a mother of 2 kids , or when I am 70 and grandmother of 5 kiddos , I will still - sometimes - be Daddy's Little Girl .......

You

There's a road

Straight , neverending , with flowers on the sides ,

lush green grassy fields stretch across till the horizon ,

Brilliant blueness of the sky - neverending ....

greyish mountains on the sides - snowcapped and shrouded in fog ,

And I walk ,

Alone

My walk doesn't end , but I know there is

a bend in the road somewhere

Aeones pass , seasons change ,

Thuderstorms and showers happen ,

so do the droughts - fiery red flaming sky burns down on me ,

But I walk ......

And one day -

Through the willow trees lining the road

I see a bend

A bend in the road I knew was there

and suddenly it changes

There's this wind

In my hair , on my face ,

swirling around my arms and legs ....

The bend is over ,

and then , I see

I see you

You're there

Leaning on that fence

And you hold me in your arms

against your firm chest

and you dont let go

And suddenly I feel free

I feel alive ....

If I had the freedom to do whatever I want ....

What is freedom ?
Ask the canary in the cage , the lone prisoner of war , an inmate of Alcatraz ....
Ask the poor unhappy housewife desperately trying to bring up her 5 kids , ask the old grandpa sitting on the road selling apples for a living , Ask the CEO of a successful company , who grinds away his hours in office - forgetful of his family , the college students in 12th std harassed by the thought of not getting the career they want , Ask your parents when they come home tired from work and ready to soothe you ruffled feelings and take care of your family and your problems ........
Ask Yourself . . . .
A million things come to my mind when I read that question - what a question - does anyone have that power to give us that wish ?
Loads of freetime , music and movies , spa treatments and infinite holidays , journey around the world , shopping like crazy - Plasma screen tv , a home theatre , a palace on my own private island , etc etc , giving away money to someone , building something grand , having my own business empire , and a thousand more things - too many to list here .......
But then a vivid picture flashes before my eyes - Do you want to know what I see ?
I see a quite little home offwhite in colour , hidden amongst the coconut and mango trees and a leechee tree in the frontyard . I see a small compound with an assortment of flowers and smells along the walkway to the door , and a homely living room when I enter . I see faces - one is lined with old age and wisdom unimaginable - He sits in his armchair in the living room - the first to wish me home , the other is half bald with huge nose grinding away and saving lives every second of his life - including mine :) , the other is either in the kitchen or in her bedroom - talking care of her house , her husband's work , her kids - always working ...... I see another face - small and youthful with all the cheerfulness and youth and happiness I remember seeing on my face a few years ago - which is still there - dreaming of the good times to come .. another face small too - taking care of my grandfather - helping him live life even after his wife .... and I hear and see more voices and faces - filled with laughter and kind words , lectures and advice , and above everything else in the world - I see Infinite Love .....


So if I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted in the world - I would give it away ... for like that canary in the cage , I love my home and my family ... I don't want that freedom