The Dance Of Fire

26th November - Nobody's going to forget it ... We shouldn't really - its necessary to remember this , and as the dance of fire continued for three days literally , it made sure it burnt in our hearts as well .......
I'm away on 'vacation' , and I won't be back home till tomorrow , but I got this feeling that even if I don't have the time to write what I really feel about it - a post must go up in my name -somewhere - let my voice be heard as soon as possible .......
So this is a memorial - a small post for all those innocent brave people who have given us our lives back from those henious demons who were clutching them in their fists all that time ....
We are proud of you - you good people , and we thank you for our lives , and we will make sure that we never forget , and we will make sure a change will come - a change that will finish all the evil in this world, and so that as Walter Blythe said , in 'Rilla of Ingleside' - by Lucy Maud Montegomery - The World will laugh again , and the Line will always Hold ......

Daddy's Little Girl

There's a kid in you - always ..... that tiny part of your soul which you turn too - when you are feeling down , or hurt or scared , or when the stresses of adulthood get to you ... that part of you that makes you crawl under the sheets between mum and dad and snuggle up - just like you did at 6 yrs - except now you're 21 .... and at that point - that wonderful blissful feeling , that everything is going to be alright ...........

And at that point - all you childhood returns to you

Your dad flinging you up in the air - and you're sqealing - " higher baba - even higher !!!! "

Walking along the road next to your walker - insisting to your mum that you are ' grown up ' and ofcourse you don't need that navy blue walker printed with teddy bears anymore , only to realise that after 10 feet - you are rrreeaaallllyyy tired - ofcourse you were just 2 , so you crawl back in , buckle yourself up and let the world carry you around like a little princess :)

You trying to measure your height in the corridor of your house by lying on the floor , along the breadth of the path - only to realise that you've grown up - and stuck between two walls . If any kiddos are reading this - please dont try - its freaky . Let mommy or daddy measure you with a measuring tape instead .....

Skating on the floor of your house , by pouring water over the floor - I think almost every kid in the world knows this :)

Seeing a freshly painted white wall 10 by 10 feet - thinking its your very own drawing pad which daddy dearest made for you , so you and you sister - who happens to be a good 5 yrs elder to you [ she was 10 yrs old then ] spend 1/2 an hr with crayons - drawing the typical , triangular mountain ranges , 2 lines showing a river , a half sun between the 2 triangles and a house in the corner and the curvey V shaped crows ..... My parents didnt punish me then - that was the only time - they were too gobsmacked



Then you fastforward to junior college , where after a dentist appointment when you fainted due to too much anaesthetic - mommie just came , let you sleep with your head on her lap and drove you home ....



Then medical school - when the day before my very first university paper - I can shamelessly admit that I slept right between mom and dad - crawling in sometime during the night with my blanket and pillow - and it felt soooo good . I didnt tell this to my friends then because I found it embarassing , only to know later that they had done the same thing too - really !!!!



I hardly remember my dad being around a lot because when I was small - as a paediatrician - his life was pretty much nonexistent , so I remember seeing him in my grandparents room , sitting on the floor near my grandmom - and her massaging his hair with oil ... and I remember his face - He was feeling like a kid at that time too .... even though god knows how many lives he had saved that day , and preparing himself for more ...



So basically anytime you feel down and out , and the noise of the city actually seems to be getting to you for some weird reason , when you are too frustrated to walk to anywhere , and you are stressed , and you hate your boss for that pile of work , even though you know you want to work too , and the world just seems " Blah ! " just go to mom or dad , and rest you head on the pillow , and pamper yourself , and for get for those 15 - 20 minutes about how old you really are , and what you want to do but can't and all that stuff that gets to you and

Be A Kid Again - because its still there - Always ......



P.S. - Maybe one day , my son will record a hologramic blog titled " Mommy's Boy " and keep it away in some secret corner of his 1 mm diameter computer , or maybe he'll show it off to the world , when he's under stress like when he has exams coming up , like how I'm doing now - because I have third year mbbs univ exams in two weeks ...:)
But I know that , even at 40 when I am a mother of 2 kids , or when I am 70 and grandmother of 5 kiddos , I will still - sometimes - be Daddy's Little Girl .......

You

There's a road

Straight , neverending , with flowers on the sides ,

lush green grassy fields stretch across till the horizon ,

Brilliant blueness of the sky - neverending ....

greyish mountains on the sides - snowcapped and shrouded in fog ,

And I walk ,

Alone

My walk doesn't end , but I know there is

a bend in the road somewhere

Aeones pass , seasons change ,

Thuderstorms and showers happen ,

so do the droughts - fiery red flaming sky burns down on me ,

But I walk ......

And one day -

Through the willow trees lining the road

I see a bend

A bend in the road I knew was there

and suddenly it changes

There's this wind

In my hair , on my face ,

swirling around my arms and legs ....

The bend is over ,

and then , I see

I see you

You're there

Leaning on that fence

And you hold me in your arms

against your firm chest

and you dont let go

And suddenly I feel free

I feel alive ....

If I had the freedom to do whatever I want ....

What is freedom ?
Ask the canary in the cage , the lone prisoner of war , an inmate of Alcatraz ....
Ask the poor unhappy housewife desperately trying to bring up her 5 kids , ask the old grandpa sitting on the road selling apples for a living , Ask the CEO of a successful company , who grinds away his hours in office - forgetful of his family , the college students in 12th std harassed by the thought of not getting the career they want , Ask your parents when they come home tired from work and ready to soothe you ruffled feelings and take care of your family and your problems ........
Ask Yourself . . . .
A million things come to my mind when I read that question - what a question - does anyone have that power to give us that wish ?
Loads of freetime , music and movies , spa treatments and infinite holidays , journey around the world , shopping like crazy - Plasma screen tv , a home theatre , a palace on my own private island , etc etc , giving away money to someone , building something grand , having my own business empire , and a thousand more things - too many to list here .......
But then a vivid picture flashes before my eyes - Do you want to know what I see ?
I see a quite little home offwhite in colour , hidden amongst the coconut and mango trees and a leechee tree in the frontyard . I see a small compound with an assortment of flowers and smells along the walkway to the door , and a homely living room when I enter . I see faces - one is lined with old age and wisdom unimaginable - He sits in his armchair in the living room - the first to wish me home , the other is half bald with huge nose grinding away and saving lives every second of his life - including mine :) , the other is either in the kitchen or in her bedroom - talking care of her house , her husband's work , her kids - always working ...... I see another face - small and youthful with all the cheerfulness and youth and happiness I remember seeing on my face a few years ago - which is still there - dreaming of the good times to come .. another face small too - taking care of my grandfather - helping him live life even after his wife .... and I hear and see more voices and faces - filled with laughter and kind words , lectures and advice , and above everything else in the world - I see Infinite Love .....


So if I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted in the world - I would give it away ... for like that canary in the cage , I love my home and my family ... I don't want that freedom

EXAMS !!!! but they're always there ......

I'm TWO WEEKS away from my prelims - aaarrrrrgggghhhh !!! I don't like it a bit - no sir !
Its sooooooooo boring !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I must study - :( - must pass - OH GOD !!!
okay - reality sinking in - 2 weeks is managable - always has been .....I have given a paper on the entire ENT portion - and scored well so thats good , almost all of ophthalmology is done with very good marks in terminals , and PSM is finished with very well too ... then you may ask - why would I be frustrated ????
Because , in the end - you DON'T remember anything !
Take for example today - I tried to study - did quite a bit , felt sleepy at 12 noon - after starting to study at 10 , felt like flinging my textbooks out of the window [ check facebook status ] but guilty conscience and reality mixed with dread wouldn't allow , felt like banging my head on the wall a couple of times , and now here I am online , with a bowl of soup in my hand and trying to like it .... thinking of all the fun I could have had if I had the time and a guilty free conscience , and blogging about it after a friend found my sms reply hilarious enough to suggest a blog dedicated to it .. which I did :)
P.S. - Ever understood HOW ALL the good movies are slated for release when you have exams coming up ?
P.P.S - Ever felt like taking your brain out - keeping it aside and having fun - so that you stop thinking and freaking yourself out , only to realise that you like your brain - and not the rubbish in it - and you wouldn't ever actually want to separate it from your body , and all will be well soon ......
P.P.P.S - I'm rambling ....Goodbye ... It was a nice soup by the way - made me feel loads better ... should I really publish this ? - Maybe I will - I know I'll laugh hilariously over it after some time ........

God's Perfection

I found this poem on a site called www.passionup.com when I was searching for poetry .This one is written by Bobette Byran , and copyrighted . Its beautiful , and I know that whoever reads this is going to love it , regardless of who they are . I really loved this :)

God made the mountains
Kiss the clouds
that we may look up beyond
Our own small world
and strive to reach great heights .
He made the ocean wide and mighty
to remind us of the
greatness of his love
and the power of his strength .
He frosts the earth with
diamonds in the winter
to reveal the riches
that await us in heaven,
and He awakens the earth
with profusion of lilacs and daffodils
in the spring ,to show us that
we've been given the gift of eternal life .
He has created masterpieces
and every one of them
are a part of the circle of life , and serve
some great purpose
From the forests , to the valleys ,
across the dales , and even to the most distant twinkling star ,
and the early morning mist
that creeps over the hills ,
God has blessed the earth
with his talented hand .
So do you think that God could have
erred when he made you ?
Ofcourse he didn't .
You're Perfect .
exactly what god intended you to be
As the earth is reborn this spring ,
remember that you are one
of God's great masterpieces
A testament to his infinite
Wisdom and Perfection .

Unilateral Pains

In the Navi Mumbai Municipal Hospital , where we are posted during our MBBS course .
Time - 9.30 am on Thursday morning , waiting for the Doctor to arrive ......
Poor Atul has just rested his 'oh so painful ' right side [ courtesy of a Tetanus shot 2 days earlier - we all sympathise ] on the chair . After a few minutes of harmless conversation , he gets up to leave the room . As a continuity of the aforementioned conversation , Amod whacks him hard on the LEFT side ... Hilariously Atul clutches his right side , moaning and groaning !! and Amod actually explains the difference between the right and left parts of his posterior - to which poor Atul gives the Tetanus shot ka explanation .....
After he leaves the room - Amod gets up - puts on a serious elderly doctor look and gravely starts off -

" Patient has come with complaints of Unilateral Bum Pain on the Right side . It is aggravated by hitting on the left side . He also gives history of tetanus shots taken two days before arriving in the OPD today ....."

Unfortunately Amod was unable to give his ' Diagnosis ' as we were all laughing hysterically by then .......

Voices of India

Its so hard to believe ... you see this guy - walking , talking , singing , in the limelight - living as if he's never lived before .... and suddenly he's gone .... you don't know him , and that makes it so surreal .... kind of like some thing has just lifted him off the face of the earth - Zap ! just like that ...
Death is inevitable , but how and when you go is something no one can ever for tell . Makes you want to realise how important it is to leave a large and deep footprint on this earth - your mark - all yours - uniquely yours .... Otherwise what is the point of living ....
This is for all those voices - heard and unheard , but were still there ... Rest in peace ..We acknowledge your presence ....

Medicine

I had a lecture on Nephrology today - at 9.30 am on a Sunday morning . The Doctor asked this -
How will you decide whether you patient is drinking excess water to combat excessive urine loss [ eg - in Diabetes insipidus ] , or losing excess urine due to excessive water intake [ eg - psychogenic polydypsia ] ?
Reminded me about that world famous PJ -
Did the chicken come first or the egg ?
[ We got the correct answer anyway ]

The Winds of Time

Today we had a celebration of my sister's 10th std results - she scored 89% in ICSE . To top this all , my entire family joined us , which included both my nieces , aged 7 and 8 yrs respectively . The only reason why the rest of my zhingbang didn't come was because these kiddos are in USA .
Looking at my niece drawing her hand through her hair to keep all pretty , made me remember of the time when I had held her in my arms when she was a newborn baby - and how she had pee'd all over my favourite shirt . Somehow even then I was a lil proud ...It felt like only yesterday .....
I also remembered playing cards in the other sister's house when she had waddled in - disgruntled at 9 months of her pregnancy... and how we had all laughed.. and how my cousin sis who happens to be only 5 years elder had remarked ; " Yuck! One day I will walk in like that too , all exasperated , with a huge belly , and you all are going to be sitting here playing cards and laughing over my fate " . The same sister wasn't here with us today as she was buying her engagement rings along with her fiance .....
If you happen to be a medicine student [ I give this example as it happens to take an abnormal amount of time required to finish a measly bachelors ..] , you will understand my sentiments when I say that , studying for MBBS is like sitting in a train which hardly moves . And you see all your friends zooming ahead of you on speedbikes .... Suddenly you notice that your family and friends have grown up and seem to be going ahead of you ... Thats when you realise that that train you were sitting in - Well Its Moving ! And its moving very fast !!!
Writing this reminded me of a blogpost which I came across - poor guy had written " I'm just 25 . Where did everyone go ?! "
We understand .......

On a serious note

The last couple of entries have been lil emotional .... So I would like to look at them as just good reads :)
As of now - exams are around the corner [ meaning a month away - and you'd agree if you were a med student :) ] so a lil bit studying and chilling going on .....

The Rain in Spain is Falling in the Plains

of Mumbai - finally ......
We are getting our first rains here right now , and its thundering too . I'm cooped up in my room , chatting with Bhabhi and updating this thing .....
There will be hot cups of tea , with books - all snuggled up in one cosy corner of the room , and maybe once I might go crazy enough to walk through the rain without bothering about the umbrella ... There IS something quite magical about a walk through the rains - drenched to the core and all that ... and I think its only us 'kindred spirits' of Anne's yore who can identify that fairydust .....
And If he reads my blog [ Its the 21st century after all , even if the feelings behind my words are ancient ] , maybe a walk along a lonely mystique road , with a firm hand griping mine ........

Branded Eggs

No seriously !!
In my fridge - with 'Prabhat A ' stamped over all 6 of them !! Whats the world coming to .......

Mumbai Indians

No use keeping fingers crossed - we aren't in the semis anymore ....
Those 3 ghastly matches will forever be a mumbai indian player's nightmare ....
Remind me never to be so optimistic as to hope for Rs 6000 ke tickets a day and a half before the finals ....
But I can't ever help being Optimistic always .......

A Letter from This Girl to That Special Boy

Dear You ,
I know this is weird - a random girl writing to you and everything .... but I couldn't resist - I have been waiting for you my whole life .......
Most of my friend's have paired off so far , but I always knew that the guys in front of me were not good enough - you see , I was waiting for you ....
Are you tall and fair - with jet black hair ? Because that is how I have always imagined you . Do you look as good in casuals , as you do in formals , coz I think you sure do . Are you little shy and reserved in general , and a cool dude in front of friends ? With an amazing sense of humour ? - coz I LOVE a good sense of humour - life is like that - we all need it .
Do you like reading ? Please tell me you do , I can't live without it , and somehow I can't imagine my boyfriend or my husband not liking it . Can you cook ? I love cooking , so its okay even if you don't . I know these are a lot of questions , but please don't freak out - this is just so that you get a peek into my mind ......
I hope you know that i love to keep my hair long - so try not to hint at a shorter haircut . And i love fairytales , so if I feel like going to see 'Narnia' or something - don't yell - I'll see a 100 action movies or something ghastly which you want to , to make up for it .
Have you seen each and every particle of Europe ? I haven't - and its my dream ......please come with me again , and I promise you I will see America with you , a thousand times over to make up for it .
I hope you understand that when I yell or lose my temper - its never at you , but at the world or a part of it , because I have never learnt to show people what they really deserve - sometimes I chicken out . Its something you will have to teach me .....
And I hope , that whatever happens , You know that even if the world comes to an end , I'll always love you and be there for you ........
Hope I find you soon ..... wherever you are .
Love always ,
Me.

Three Wishes

Once upon a time , in a far away land ...............
Three wood nymphs walked , hand in hand , gliding into the woods - the walk they knew so well . How happy they all were - spring was near - so near ...so near ......
One was tall and fair , with beauty to rival anyone in the world - nay - universe .
Second was quiet and thoughtful , on the outside , but a raging dragon was trapped inside .
Third was - nay not gifted with magic - for who ever said this was a fairytale ? The third was full of life and zest , bent on showing that the world was at its feet .....
Aeones and aeones they walked through the various forests of the world ...until they came upon a wizard .
Old he was - with bright silver hair , reaching down till his waist , gave them a gentle smile and said
" Fair morning to you my children , walk not ahead of me without this test -
If I told you that you may get what you like , what on this day would you ask of me ?"

'LOVE ' - said the first
'PEACE' - said the second
'MONEY ' - said the third
"Very well , your results of this test - you shall find out on your own , you are permitted to be on your way " said HE .

And off they went , along the little yellow road , through the woods , hand in hand ofcourse , as they all were a part of one little soul ...........

Of Blogs and Dogs .

Today's editorial in Times of India . Dunno why , but felt like posting it here .
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Editorial/Of_Blogs_And_Dogs/articleshow/3051481.cms

Cricket , Cricket and more cricket .

This blog is fast becoming totally dedicated to Cricket .. probably because IPL is sooo addicting !!
A win against the Number one team - Rajasthan . Check .
A win against Kolkata . Check .
Helping Kolkata get the lowest ever score in IPL . Check !!!
That is soo cool !!!
Now there can be ' some ' hopes for mumbai indians reaching the semis ... [ hmmm - maybe ... ]
:: fingers crossed ::
:)

BRAVO , BRAVO !!

THE MUMBAI INDIANS HAVE WON - FINALLY ......
Bravo ne ijjat bacha di - 64 runs .... and Utthapa should have repeated the gentlemanly bow , he gave in the middle of the field after he caught someone out , after scoring his 37 runs....

As for Ishant - I didn't know whether to be furious at him , or to be proud of him [ since he plays for India after all ] when he sent that stump cartwheeling a good 15 yards away - which took Jayasuriya's pride along with it .

The next Mumbai vs Kolkata match will be fun to watch .

7.30 am

I have learnt a very good lesson - never ever will I depend on someone else to wake me up in the morning when my parents are out of station .... ofcourse if I deleted the ' parents out of station ' part , it would be a much better lesson learnt - but laziness is a universal virtue of all human beings .

Think of a cozy sunday morning - hmmmm , then think of a 4 hour lecture of medicine at Andheri at 8 in morning - ouch . Yup - providence calls for 10 different alarms to ring at 2 min intervals to get you up and awake in time . This is what I did -

Went of to sleep at 1 am after watching 'Failure to launch' - absolutely tp movie , told the bai to wake me up at 6 - AND DID NOT KEEP A SINGLE ALARM ON MY MOBILE .

The poor thing dutifully came at 6 - and did wake me up . Obviously I fell asleep again after having a proper 2 min conversation with her ....... and got up at 7.30 !!!!!!

O woe is me !!! If we could fly - I might have had a chance to reach Andheri from Borivali in the next half an hour - coz I had no intention of telling my dad I missed out on half the lecture coz I slept in late - NO SIR ...

It was the fastest shower I ever took , wore respectable clothes with everything in place , took all the necessary stuff needed for the lecture , made my tiffin , took a water bottle , walked till the end of the road to catch an autorickshaw and was in it at 7.45 !!!!

I also made it exactly in time for the lecture .... It started at 8.15 ... whew .....

I solemnly swear to God and everyone present - I shall always keep half a dozen alarms on my mobile everytime !!!!

P.S - For all those who simply can't wake up in the morning before tea or coffee - I had my cup o' tea at 1 in the afternoon .... and I survived ....
P.P.S - As luck would have it - the girl who came to wake me up , was suppose to go to her village in the morning . She went back to her room - fell asleep and missed her bus .
She took the 8 o' clock one .
So the only one who was awake at the appointed hour was my Grandfather - who was fast asleep with his head resting on the dining table when I came out of my room .

Duniya Hila Denge

The Mumbai Indians have lost - AGAIN ..... I don't think we ever need to nurture any hopes of this team winning .... Losing once was okay - expected , Twice - Hmmm , THRICE ???!!! - stupid team ....Duniya ko seriously hila diya ...
This is one place where i can really really type what i want to .... WHAT WAS MUKESH AMBANI THINKING ??!!!

As for the 16th May match against Kolkata Knightriders , I'm going to sit in a Rs 1000 area and scream out all the support of the Knightriders .......... unless by some grace Mumbai actually wins . Not that the chances actually exist - but you can't really say ... God exists for everyone .

Just like Heaven .......

First Day of ENT posting .... :)

Just like Heaven .....

That's what it feels like after one gruelling month of ENT ..... Our first day saw us looking at each other's ears , to see what normal eardrums look like , and the rest of the month was spent in trying to diagnose whatever came in the OPD.
Our Second day was in the OPD in THRC , where we faced a Bell's Palsy patient [ facial paralysis ] , so obviously a mock viva was conducted - with the following comments thrown at us after each answer ....
" R - U - B - B - I - S - H .... RUBBISH !!! "
" H - U - M - B - U - G ..... HUMBUG !!! "
"ARE YOU CATTLE OR WHAT ??!! " [ !!!!! ]
"GO PRACTISE IN BANGLADESH !! " [ !!!!!!! ........]


[ p.s. - one opd even saw all 17 of us standing in a straight line along the wall , holding our ears with both hands , like kindergarden kids ...obviously i don't have a pic of that - and even if i did -posting it here - i think would be going too far ..]

IPL MATCH

Saw the first IPL match yesterday !! It was sooo good !! Mc Callum was brilliant !
So I'm really glad Im going to be seeing the 16th May match at DY Patil Stadium ... Me and a bunch of Medical college friends volunteered so that we could be in the VIP Enclosure ! :)
P.S. - I know its a totally girly thing to say ..But - seeing Ponting hugging his team players and ruffling Ishant's Hair - was soo cute !!!

The Bai bonanza - a true story !

Conversation between 'J' [ the guy ] and 'N' [the girl ] ...
[ the guys from my college group have also shifted to Nerul , and are slowly getting used to mommy dearest not being there to clean up after them - hence the appearance of their flat resembling a garbage dump ..... though in their defence i can say that they are learning ...]
Time - 9.00 am at the breakfast table -
N = Hello , 'Morning !
J = Tumhari bai hamare pass kaam karne aaeygi kya ?
N= in a flat where 6 guys are staying together ??!! no bai will , and ours wont ..what happened to the one who you guys had ?
J= the owner kicked her out now yaa .... help ! send your bai na !! whats the problem ???
N= No !!! why was your bai kicked out ?
J= owner did some chaplusi ... found out - wo to bargirl nickli yaar !!!!!
N = !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ ROFL ... some cornflakes spill out of the bowl ..]
N= how can you not notice something 'off' about her ??
J= she came , swept the floor , cleaned the dishes etc , kaam hota tha .. who cared ? .... though actually she used a fancy purse and talked on the mobile a lot .......
N= he he he he
J= send the bai !!!!
N= NO !!!!

Life in Nerulgaon

Even though Nerul along with the rest of Navi Mumbai is now the upcoming township , there are still parts of it which do tend to remind us that it is still very much a ' gaon ' ... for eg - having your dinner in an a/c 2bhk flat under emergency battery light at 10 pm , climbing up 6 floors in the afternoon when there is power shortage , and getting wonderful views of the sunrise at 6 am , which definately can't be seen in mumbai dues to lack of airspace .

On the other hand , having a cup of hot tea next to the french windows in the hall looking at the D Y Patil 's Cricket stadium lighted up at night sort of makes up for it :)